i just came here to let u know how my life ended up to be like.. u saw how fucked up i was. and my life was. i was in deep depression, now i get it o: that friend i told u guys about. well we’re dating for 6 months now ^^ and it’s the best feeling ever :3 nothings perfect and we have ups and downs. we’ve been through some shitty sitch, shitty people.. but we always find some kind of way to make it all work out in the end ^^
about me… im not that lonely anymore. most of the people still think im different and sutff. but dont complain. i get along with most of them and they seem to like me :] and well if they dont its their problem i dont really give a fuck…
everyday now is not a hope to see if it will all be over. now a day is just a day.. full of bad stuff, good stuff, randomness, and… more randomness Cx
im still trouble minded and sometimes i wonder how the fuck can anybody take me.. but i try to get over it. and think racionally xD im not a crazyass troubled and depressed girl anymore. i just have some crappy moments. but i always manage to think racionally and get them off my mind.
i dont think my mom still looks at me as if i was some kind of freak. well… i always had a strange feeling everytime she looked at me.. and it was awful, it made me feel even worse… but i dont feel it any+…
I still have my troubles cause of that stupid childhood of mine. and stupid people. but they’ve soften i guess.
anyways… Idk if i’ll ever write here again. Maybe i do cause at some point i always come here… I mean. I came here again right? after saying 2 or 3x i wouldnt come here again xD
sooo… im not gonna say goodbye. imma say cya later xD
-sigh- im gonna be quick.
i met a really cool guy who never ignores me, always talks to me, makes me laugh every time, and we never have an awkward silence… wer rly close even bite each other (aa) but im afraid, because im rly falling for this guy and i dont want to because people will start bitching around about me. hes so sweet and idk what to do.
my guitar finally came :3
im xo happyyyyy and its tuned ^_^i played for a while already :3 omgxxxxxxxxxxxx i love playing guitar im so addicted 😀 but imma be soooo busy now >___< i hate that T_T
i have to go dinner so tc peace! xx
2day was… ok… tho in the morning and lunch time i was lil depressed. ive been having these crappy moods >_< fuck it.
at least i smiled. and… better of all…
my sf got to make my mp4 WORK again!!!!!!!!!11 omgz im so happy about it! i missed it ^_^ i missed it so muchhhh =3 thanks loads!!!! :3
anyways. didnt go to pick my guitar 😦 becaz they had to leave and i stayed taking care of my sis till like 8pm so when they came back it was night already 😡 oh well… 2morrow imma pick it up. miss my guitar 😥
and im looking forward for 2morrow! ill have my 1st sports' class in a month and wierdly im missing it! have eating loads of crap 2 and wanna put some of it out… and i enjoy that time. its funny and… oh i lyk it :3 and i miss wearing a tee. i feel more free (LOL)
well imma go now. i feel like playing nintendo DS or maybe write some stuff…
bbz stay cool xx
Its hard to understand if wer gona be ok
but im sure we fit perfectly in our own way
my emotions flow and break free
everytime u stand near me
no mirror can show u what i see starring at you
no other girl will ever love u like i do
I bleed to forget
And Ill always regret
What I did to u
And I know there’s no point on it now
But I’m truly sorry
Please don’t change
I miss my guitar 😦 my sweet lovely awesome guitar 😦 i think tomorrow ill have it home safe with me all tuned up. Wish for it! >__< life is all of a sudden going from super duper awesome to pointless….
yeah my life changing into an year ago. maybe worst… yeah worst! i wish i was still a baby crying from tummy hurting not people hating me, ignoring me, and the things i love the most watch them going away and cant do anything to help it. imma lose my sanity… imma be completely punched down like a loser. and then maybe happens the ending of it all…
im really getting depressed with all this shit and wanna sleep forever… even tho my nightmares are becoming more regular… yeah they are.
this blog makes my life worst. its like… an year ago i started writing and my life got a mess. then i stopped and my life changed to better. now i restarted writing and everything is a mess again. gzzz. this blog is CURSED.
As the tittle says, this is being the worst day ever…
yesterday night a piece of my guitar broke while i was tuning it so i cant play guitar now. in the morning, my mp4 got wet and stoped working. my parents are mad at me. i cried the whole night and during the day.
its been a year since i was like this. this is being like a dejá vu… i hope the story doesnt repeat. i hope i dont loose everything again. i already lost the perfect guy and now that ive found hapiness again God turned against me. its not fair… nothing is being fair right now. i dont really feel loved and all i wanna do is disapear. seems no1 cares at all.
ok now i feel like crying again 😦 thanks a lot world for making my life a piece of shit again. seriously. >_<
and yeah i used a lot of timesword 'again' because everything is turning into crap AGAIN.